Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

After a series of tumors, woman’s odd-looking tongue explains everything - Ars Technica

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can count

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What was Easter day like for you as a child?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When have you been in an accident where the other person involved blatantly lied to the police about what transpired?

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Stefon Diggs won’t discuss the contents of his bag on the boat - NBC Sports

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Blood test detects multiple cancer types through cell-free DNA - Medical Xpress

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I actually pay taxes

What baseball stories from the early days of the sport seem too bizarre to be true?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Panama Canal boss warns MSC ports deal threatens principle of neutrality - ft.com

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fakery

Scarlett Johansson plants a big kiss on Jonathan Bailey — this time in front of husband Colin Jost - pagesix.com

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Which animal has the best sense of smell? - Live Science

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Oregon State leaves no doubt, outslug Florida State to reach College World Series - OregonLive.com

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t cotton to rapists

I can read

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work